This just in: Paris Hilton, the hotel heiress and waste of oxygen, has been released from prison after serving only three days of a twenty-three-day sentence for parole violation for driving with a suspended license following her arrest for DUI. She was released due to undisclosed health problems that were psychological in nature -- e.g. she freaked out because she was in jail. Her sentence was originally supposed to be for 45 days, but it was reduced to 23 for good behavior. How can someone get a sentence reduced for good behavior before they've served any time, is what I'd like to know.
Check out Paris's mug shots. Apparently she misunderstood her instructions and thought she was supposed to report for her glamour shots. I wonder if they allow lipstick in jail. Paris's three days in jail consisted of being locked up in her cell for 23 hours of the day. The one hour not spent in her cell was, of course, spent in Hair & Makeup. Which obviously wasn't enough time, as her nose looks a little shiny.
Of course no one expected Paris to get out of jail so soon. Not even Sarah Silverman, who totally dissed Paris at the MTV Movie Awards the night before Paris reported to jail. And Paris was in the audience! (She even had the same sideswept hairstyle seen in her second mug shot). Now that Paris is back on the streets, Sarah Silverman better be looking over her shoulder every time she leaves the house. Now that the crazy byatch is out of jail, it's payback time!
