Halloweentown

Salem in October is insane.

Since I live in Salem, Massachusetts (not Salem, New Hampshire; or Salem, Oregon), you could say that I do in fact live in Halloweentown. Now that it's mid-September, the summer tourists are giving way to the autumn crowds which come here to enjoy the Halloween festivities. It's early yet, but many stores are already decorated for Halloween in anticipation of the throngs of visitors to this fair city. During the month of October, the population of Salem swells to twice the usual number due to all the of out-of-town visitors. Streets are packed with pedestrians, many of whom wear oversized witch hats with feathered brims or ceramic devil horns tied around their heads, waving around magic wands or pirate swords. And I'm talking about the adults, people. And the fairies! Don't even get me started about the fairies.

I do enjoy all the Halloween-related events leading up to October 31st, such as the Bizarre Bazaar, a two-day craft fair held on the pedestrian walkway, as well as the special events some of the stores or local organizations hold, such as psychic fairs, or the children's and pets' costume parades. But as much as I love living in Salem, I don't want to go anywhere near downtown Salem on Halloween day itself. An eight minute drive home can turn into forty-five minutes or more when many drivers display a blatant disregard for traffic rules, ignoring red lights and continuing to go through intersections, thus leaving those who have the right of way unable to proceed. And taking the bus to avoid the hassle of driving through town doesn't help, either. The buses are re-routed on Halloween day, but the city doesn't publicize it. On my first Halloween in Salem, I waited over an hour for my bus, and when it didn't come, I started walking, only to learn halfway through my walk that the bus took an alternate route. By the time I got on the bus, I was so close to my apartment that I should have just walked the rest of the way home.

When I first visited Salem as a tourist, I loved taking part in the Halloween festivities. Now I find them to be a pain in the ass. I still love Halloween as much as I always did, but now, as a resident, I find the hordes of tourists converging on my city to be a major inconvenience, preventing me from going about my business as usual. I can't get a parking space. I can't get a table in a restaurant. There are long lines to the ladies' room in the Visitor's Center (because sometimes I can't wait until I get home). Add to the influx of tourists the charletan "psychics" who don't live or work here but who come into town to compete with the established Salem psychics for the tourist dollars. It got so bad that the city now requires psychics to have a fortune-telling license, which led to "witch wars" in town, as a couple of local "witches" left dead racoon carcasses in front of the shops of a few of the established psychics in town. Yes, my friends, Wiccans can get downright nasty where money is concerned.

My sanctuary from all the craziness of Salem at Halloween is Salem Common. Although it is right next to the Witch Museum, which is arguably the most popular witch attraction in town, most tourists bypass it. I guess it's not exciting enough for them. Thus, even in the middle of October, the Common is still mostly filled with residents, people who continue their normal routine amid the chaos to take a walk, jog, ride their bikes, walk their dogs, push their baby carriages, or just sit on a bench and read. I can take a walk around the Common and feel like I'm a part of this city, and not remotely connected to the swarms of people taking up valuable walking space on the sidewalks.

At night on Halloween, I prefer to just stay home, because Halloween night in Salem is the craziest time of all. Each year I can't wait to read the local paper the day after Halloween to see a) who got drunk, b) who got stabbed, c) who got into a fight, or d) who got arrested. Not that it's really that bad, but honestly, there are a lot of drunken idiots walking around downtown on the busiest night of the year in Halloweentown. Which reminds me, it's the time of year to watch "Nightmare Before Christmas" again.



image courtesy of halloweentown.org