Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Why Am I Such a Misfit?



Christmastime is here again. Time to put up the tree, hang the mistletoe, and take out those DVDs of the classic holiday television specials you enjoyed as a child. I'm talking about chestnuts like How the Grinch Stole Christmas, A Charlie Brown Christmas, and, of course, anything by Rankin Bass. So last night I waxed nostalgic and watched my DVD of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. And last night, like every year, a thought occurred to me, as I'm sure it's occurred to everyone who's seen the program - a nagging question that, for the past forty-plus years that this program has been in existence, has never been fully explored nor satisfactorily answered: What exactly is wrong with the Misfit Doll?

You all know the Misfit Toys: Charlie in the Box, a cowboy on an ostrich, a train with square wheels. Sure, it's obvious what their problems are. But what's wrong with the little doll? She looks perfectly normal in her red gingham dress and pigtails. So why is she a misfit, banished to a life in limbo on the Island of Misfit Toys? I posed this question to a co-worker once, and he replied that she's a misfit because she cries a lot. I countered that she cries a lot because she's a misfit. Is this a vicious cycle? Watching it again last night, however, I realized that she only cried once, on Christmas Eve, when the fog became so thick that it looked like Santa wouldn't make it to the Island of Misfit Toys to pick them all up and bring them to new homes. Who wouldn't cry at this massive disappointment?

But maybe my co-worker had a point. An article on tvparty.com suggests that the Misfit Doll's problems could, perhaps, be more psychological in nature. Personally, I think she was a Misfit because she had red hair! As a redhead myself, I know how she would be ostracized - called names like Carrot Top, Freckle Face, or Pippi Longstocking. But if she's a misfit because she has red hair, then dammit, so am I! I think there's a lesson to be learned from the Misfit Doll, and indeed, from all of the Misfit Toys: Be Yourself. To remind myself of this valuable lesson, I've got the Misfit Doll action figure (part of a two-pack with Rudolph) gracing my computer table year-round as a reminder to embrace my individuality. I'm a Misfit and proud of it.

Just don't get me started about my theory that Hermie's desire to be a dentist is actually a veiled reference to coming out of the closet.

Monday, November 5, 2007

The Million-Dollar Question



Anyone? Anyone?

My guess would be that they both fight crime. Batman took an extremely proactive approach, while Jesus used more preventative measures (the 10 commandments, thou shalt not steal, etc.).

Friday, November 2, 2007

Another One Bites the Dust


courtesy Salem News


It's November 2nd, and Salem is slowly returning to normal after yet another Halloween season. Thank God Halloween fell on a Wednesday, which was my day off, so I didn't have to make my way downtown to go to work. I headed out of town to a nearby mall instead, where, despite some sales staff and a few kids being in costume, it felt like any other day. But at work on the Saturday before Halloween, we dressed up in Halloween costumes at the shop. I wore a school uniform with a Gryffindor patch on my sweater. I was supposed to be Ginny Weasley, because I have red hair, but everyone just assumed I was Hermione.


courtesy Salem News


Sure enough, as I predicted in my previous post about Halloween in Salem, there were a few "incidents." This year, there were two stabbings and a shooting on Halloween during the revelry, although they occurred late at night after the official celebration had ended. And local officials are calling it an "overall success" - "better than last year"! Yikes! In all there were 14 arrests, mostly for drunk or disorderly conduct. But perhaps the most notable arrest was that of a controversial homosexual-hating preacher for disturbing the peace by accosting people with a bullhorn and arguing with them (above). After his arrest in Salem, this preacher chose to go to trial rather than dismiss his case if he paid $100 in court fees. These religious fanatics have been coming to Salem at Halloween time for several years now, preaching and passing out flyers in an attempt to get people to repent - because we all know trick-or-treating is just one step away from devil worship. Apparently they were so busy trying to get slight sinners to repent that they failed to notice Satan himself walking past them (below).


courtesy Salem News


Despite these incidents, overall the season seemed a bit less frantic than past years, possibly because we had 80+ degree weather for much of October, so maybe fewer tourists came because it didn't seem like autumn in New England. But today was a more seasonal 45 degrees. That's what usually happens. Fall is my favorite season, but it gets shorter and shorter every year. The weather stays warmer longer, and then as soon as November begins, it gets cold and turns to winter, so we really don't get the crisp, refreshing autumns I remember as a child. I blame global warming.

I loved that "autumn" smell in the air while I went trick-or-treating as a kid- a mix of cold air and fireplace smoke, as the leaves crunched beneath my feet. As as little kid in the Seventies, every year I got one of those Halloween costumes that came in a box, with those masks that you couldn't breathe in because they only had a tiny slit for a mouth. I always got too hot and ended up pushing it on top of my head so I could breathe. Completing the ensemble was a one-piece pajama-type suit printed with whatever design corresponded to your mask - whether it was Spider Man, Wonder Woman, Cinderella, Scooby Doo, etc. Not that you could see what it was because my mom made me wear my cardigan sweater over them anyway because it was cold out. But I still remember how excited I'd get when the local five-and-ten put the costumes out on display, officially kicking off the Halloween season. I couldn't wait to pick out my costume from the piles of square boxes stacked on top of each other. Of course, those costumes were probably not flame-retardant, but what's Halloween without living on the edge, right?



Last year there were about 40 arrests in Salem on Halloween night, compared to the 14 this year, so yeah, I suppose this year was better than last year (two thumbs up!). Although I don't recall anyone getting shot last year. I guess if there's anything crazier than downtown Salem on Halloween night, it's the emergency room at Salem Hospital.



courtesy Salem News